


Brain City

by M4R4N14MH



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: And mine I suppose, Aziraphale is So Done (Good Omens), Aziraphale is too sober for this shit, Aziraphale obviously doesn't, Bet you didn't know that did you, Crowley Knows, Crowley's Plants (Good Omens), Crowley's having a WHALE of a time, Dolphins & Whales, I should say we, I'm not entirely sure why I did this, It's my friend's fault, M/M, They talk, Well I did write the thing, Whales, Whales can talk, i'll stop talking now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 09:43:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21444184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M4R4N14MH/pseuds/M4R4N14MH
Summary: ‘Big brains. That’s my point. Size of. Size of. Size of damn big brains. And then there’s the whales. Brain city, take it from me. Whole damn sea full of brains.’ -Crowley, after becoming hideously drunk with the Principality Aziraphale roughly a day after the Antichrist was brought to Earth and subsequently delivered to the wrong human parents.Although it must be said, while Crowley may do many things whilst drunk, he is not prone to exaggeration.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 37





	Brain City

Aziraphale paused and stared at the scene before him, utterly and hopelessly bemused.

Crowley was draped over his throne with his phone propped up on his desk playing quiet whale sounds. That, however, wasn’t what worried Aziraphale.

What worried him was that Crowley was absolutely _howling_ with laughter as he listened to the very soothing marine mammal’s crooning, and Aziraphale literally had no idea why.

“Err… Crowley?”

Crowley calmed down, wiping a few tears from his eyes as he looked over at Aziraphale, a broad grin still stretching his lips.

“Angel!” He said, brightening even further if that were at all possible, “When did you get here?”

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow, “A few minutes ago, dear; how on Earth are you _this drunk_ already?”

Crowley squinted at him, “I’m not drunk.”

Aziraphale blinked incredulously, “Then why were you laughing so hard?”

“Oh, that,” Crowley grinned, “I’m just enjoying Harry’s jokes. He’s an excellent comedian.”

Aziraphale inhaled and exhaled slowly, “Dear. Who the fuck is Harry? All I can hear are whale songs.”

Crowley looked quizzical, “What’s your point, angel?”

Aziraphale spluttered slightly, suddenly worried for Crowley’s sanity, “You’re listening to _whales_, dear. You aren’t listening to a comedian.”

Crowley blinked at him innocently, “Harry _is a_ whale. And he’s a bloody great comedian, too.”

Aziraphale opened his mouth to reply, thought better of it, and then spun on his heel; marching off in the direction of the demon’s well-stocked kitchen.

“Angel?” Crowley shouted after him, “Angel, where are you going?”

“To get wine,” Aziraphale shouted back, “I’m far too sober for this conversation.”

The whale song continued and, as Aziraphale marched off in search of suitably ridiculous quantities of alcohol, Harry cracked another joke, and all the plants scattered about the house shook with laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> This, my dear readers, is what happens when my friend and I are in a giggly mood and begin a conversation with 'You know what would be funny...'
> 
> Though, having said that, it is also our firm belief that whale song videos are really whale podcasts that we, as a species, lack the mental capacity to understand. Harry is just one of many whale comedians whose acts will sadly remain unappreciated by modern society. Unless of course you can't sleep, in which case his complex and ridiculously funny sketch about those humans and their odd beliefs about life, the universe, and everything will be the perfect background noise to get your dumb ass to sleep.


End file.
